What I’ve Learned About Self-Doubt + How to Overcome It

I am sure you’ve probably heard this quote before but it’s worth stating here:

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

I can’t tell you how many dreams I’ve killed with self-doubt. While I’ve stopped dwelling on past setbacks, I can look back and observe that every unrealized dream of mine came to a halt because of crippling self-doubt (otherwise known as fear). Self-doubt literally holds you back from moving forward. You question everything. You feel confused. You get discouraged. You question even more. You give up, take a step back, settle into your comfort zone, and talk yourself into letting the dream die because it’s “easier”. It’s “safe”.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel safe. Wanting to feel safe is one of our basic human needs. But oftentimes we confuse feelings of safety with comfort. Taking action or pursuing the unknown is scary…but what’s the worst thing that could happen if you make the decision to move forward? Probably not as scary as it seems, right? Most of the time, self-doubt is only something we’ve built up in our mind.

I can say this from personal experience…the most glaring example being launching this new blog and uploading this video explaining my journey online. Like I’ve mentioned before, this blog was a long time coming but I allowed self-doubt to hold me back. I remained stuck thinking of all of the “what-if’s” we obsess over when we’re feeling afraid.

So here’s how I overcame my persistent self-doubt and how you can, too….

1.  Silence your thoughts.

Much easier said than done, it takes time and practice…especially if you’re an over thinker like me. 😉 But, I’ve really worked hard on my thoughts this past year and a half and over time it’s gotten easier to stop them in their tracks. When you feel your thoughts begin to drift towards doubts, discouragement, or fear – say no. Tell yourself no – say it out loud if you want {if no one’s around…or if you don’t care who hears you then go for it! Haha}

2. Talk to someone.  

Sharing your thoughts with someone who supports you will help you put things into perspective really quick. Saying your frustrations, doubts, or fears out loud will allow you to take a step back and hear when you’re exaggerating or being unrealistic. This has probably helped me the most.

3. Understand that you can’t control anyone’s opinion of you.

Thinking about what other people are thinking about you will only hold you back from pursuing the life you want. You can’t change what people think or the way people perceive you, and that’s just part of life. If one of your dreams is to start a blog or YouTube channel, people will have opinions about what you do or say – that’s just part of putting yourself out there online. But, at the end of the day, if you’re happy doing what you love, who cares what other people may or may not think? Do you. Be proud of what you love and go for it with all your heart! 

4. Show yourself compassion.

I struggled with this one. Being a perfectionist, I have the tendency to constantly look for ways to improve myself. I believed that nitpicking, judging, and pushing myself to “be better” and “do better” would propel me forward, but my perfectionism was really just fear in disguise. It was my way of telling myself that I wasn’t good enough and I would never be good enough to move forward so I kept holding myself back. Learning how to show myself compassion – how to be kind to myself – was a game changer for me. I could write an entire post on this subject alone but if you want to learn from the self-compassion expert, I highly recommend the book Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff. It’s life-changing.

And there you have it! My top tips for how to overcome self-doubt and move forward towards anything you want in life.

Remember – you are strong. You are capable. You are worthy.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!